I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
