it wasn't lemon gatorade
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
