It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize