You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize