guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
