i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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