Your tits are I can't wait for
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
