To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Swine flu. Run for my life!
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
