that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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