I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
the day after is always just damage control
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
