i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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