Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
