i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
