Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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