I hope mine doesn't look like that
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
