She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
