I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
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