Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
