im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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