He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
This is my life. Enjoy the view
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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