you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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