The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
