It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
