Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
