At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
