Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
whose parrot is this?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
