the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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