dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
