if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize