she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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