dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
