I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
