Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
