I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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