Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
