If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
only if we run a train.
done.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
