she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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