One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize