shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It's just like the Real World with babies
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
