Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize