i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
