So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
