i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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