If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I have feelings that need drinking.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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