We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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