somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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