gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize