I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
