So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize