It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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