Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
