Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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