Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
