So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
