He had one of those small greek statue penises
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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