I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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