umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize