They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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